"What words best define our domestic auto industry?," asked the President. "Large, bureaucratic, inefficient, slow to respond to change, unable to understand market forces, I could go on and on." Then, flashing his trademark smile, he said, "Makes you wonder if GM has been a government agency all along." After a few more remarks, the President took questions from the press and others. My informant, White House garage parking attendant John Yaya (not his real name to protect his identity), asked, "Surely there are larger and more bureaucratic government agencies, so why choose NASA?" Obama responded, "I've been impressed with NASA's particular adeptness at mismanaging huge multi-billion dollar projects, so it seems a natural fit. And, of course, you have Saturn as one of the auto companies."

John Smallberries of Motor Trend magazine asked if a new NASA administrator will be named soon, and if NASA will continue with its Constellation program. "Good questions," said Obama. "It's clear that we can't afford to return to the Moon and save our auto companies, so I've decided that NASA will be renamed the National Automobile and Streets Administration and the money previously budgeted for the Constellation program will now be used to fund the development of the next generation fusion-powered Hummer... which can be used on the Moon by purchasing the optional Lunar Module package."

"As for a new NASA administrator, well, you can understand how this sudden change for NASA requires us to completely change what we're looking for in a new administrator. My team will be working on this while I'm in Europe and I expect to make an announcement shortly after my return. I can quash one rumor that's been circulating; former Teamsters Union leader Jimmy Hoffa has not applied for the job."